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Coherent Paragraphs: in Context

Below are 2 paragraphs that have coherence problems.  The paragraphs are unified, and they have enough development, but the connections between the ideas is not clear, either because of logic problems or inadequate language to connect the ideas. Use the techniques discussed in this module to improve the coherence of the paragraphs; then, compare your results to our corrected versions. You may make changes to the paragraph directly in the text box, or copy the text and paste it into a word processor for editing.

Example Paragraph 1:

see our revision

Example Paragraph 2:

see our revision






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